benediction poem-----"best of final wishes"

These last years are now coming to a final

Finish. Times of love, hatred, laughter and

Despair. People that once hated each other

Now are becoming closer than they had been.

People who were friends and loved on another

are now closer and ore friendly than ever

before. I wish of all of you, of all of this, of

all of what has been of all of these last four

years for you to never forget this time right

now for when we were all at our closest with

one another and for you all to fallow your

craziest of dreams and never not fallow your

heart, for the time you don’t you will be at

your worst. So do what you want to do and

don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way

for any reason. And for then you will always

be at your happiest and that is my deepest wish

to all of you.

distrustful you

RPK,



There you go again….
Doing the same shit you once did
That I thought we’d gotten rid of.

Apparently when you said it wasn’t going
To happen again you lied to me once more.
You no I hate when you lie but yet that doesn’t
Stop you I catch you all the time
You say you’re a jealous person and that your not
Going to let that get in the way and make it hard on us
You say that it’s no big deal
And yet it is to both of us, it hurts you because no
Matter how much you say you love me you still don’t
Trust me. You still get your little thoughts in your head
And let them get out of hand.
I don’t get it and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I don’t know why but you think I am cheating on you
with my friend Ryan, but that’s not all. You think it about
Many people and not just guys.
Yeah I’ll give it to you, you know I aint straight
You know I am bi. But still I am a trustful and trusting
Person I am not one to cheat on someone and yet you
Think I am or am going to.
It hurts cant you see.

You say you know you say you get it, but yet I can see
That you don’t know I can tell when you lie to me I can
See that you don’t get it.
I don’t understand why you try and lie to me or why you
Are sooo jealous. Granted I like jealousy I really do
I feel that depending on how jealous the one you are
with is over other people show s how much more
they are in to you and how much more they like you
but yet you are sooo jealous it gets in the way. And it hurts
just that much more. I don’t know how much moe of this I
can take I don’t think I am even the girl you fell in love with
anymore it hurt that much and for some reason you don’t see it.
And just at that moment my phone rings.
Its my mom, of course, whenever I am in the middle
of something important it never ceases to fail.
Hello,
Hello can I help you, I am kinda busy,
Yeah I need your help out here,
With what?,
You have to help with the cats,
Really? Can I wait I am kinda the middle of something and
Its needed and important?
I guess, hurry up I need you out here,
Fine, and at that second I hang up

Ok where was I, o yes, you don’t get how much this hurts me
I know it hurts you too, you end up crying almost every night
About us, and honestly I did too
But now, I cant, not no more, the tears are done, I want to cry
It hurts that bad but now….
They wont, they cant come out and it bothers me
I’m scared on what this means and I don’t want to find out
But I must, I want to know, I need to know

And yet I must know sooo bad and yet it just makes me more
Nervous about the answer

Because I do love you
I love who you are
I love what your about
Sadly not necessarily
What your about but, I
Do love you with all my heart
But I must know what this
Means… What all of this means.

If it just means we’re having just a rough time or if
This is us coming to an end.
Sadly if this is the truth you mustn’t forget that I do love you
That I will still do anything for you and that you are still and
Always be my life and my world.
And that you are my friend, my best friend
And I don’t want to loose you ever.
But I need to know what all of this means.
Maybe…..just maybe this can be settled
But until then, until we figure this out,
I think we need break
Well keep in thouch,
With all love in the world,
Kirstie

Always and forever
Forever and eternity

Abusive Electrician

My boyfriend and father of two
Who I have been scare fully with
for twenty years
who’s an electrician for a
company in Lansing Michigan

name Roy
age 39
about him short, blonde, beer gut,
lazy slacker, procrastinator, and abuser

because of his job he is rarely home
gone for 2-4 weeks and home for 2 day
used to be when he was home he would
abuse me emotionally and physically
has a tendency to quiet his job when I
get a second because we need more
money for bills
laying on his ass all day drinking and watching tv
don’t do anything but abuse me.

Finally the abuse stops when our son was born
But wait now its targeted on him
Owr one and only son
Now 16 and still being abused
Sadly I am too scared to do anything about it
Scared that it will be put back on me
So I acted like it never happened
Sadly it did

You went back out to lansing
Because your two days were up
So its back out to work you go
You leave the abuse stops
and things die back down to normal

you got called out to a home to do
some electric in a bathroom
little did you no this would be your last call
you had went to the bathroom
didnt think anything of it
but there were exposed wires just
above the sink and you go to wash your hands
the water splashes up and gets them wet
you go to grab the wires
to stop the water from getting to them
your hands are still wet
your forgot the dry them
you get electrocuted badly
now your lying there on the floor dying

the lady who’s house you were working for
heard a bunch of ruckus and barged in
saw you lying on the floor slowly dying
called the ambulance
they didn’t get there in time
and you died their on the bathroom floor
working at some lady’s house
know longer to be abusive to me or your son
know longer to be lazy and say you got fired
from your job when you quite because I
got another one
know longer do i….scratch that……do we
have to put up with anymore of you…..

now every time I go in to the bathroom
and turn on the faucet I think of you
and how happy it makes me that YOU….
Are out of our lives and that YOU…..
Cant hurt us no more
So I say good day to you and goodbye forever

summer poem

when i was 13
there was a summer
a summer to remember
oh so well
a summer hwere me
and my family traveled
traveled all summer long
my dad drove from
place to place
we started at the
algonac state park
my mom and me set up
and tore down camps
we fallowed my grampa
from place to place
fallowing my uncles carnival
all over michigan
they go all over the country
we were having fun, working,
riding rides, and eatting
eatting things like cotton
candy elephant ears and had
lemon ade and such
it was a blast

life right now

My life right now, just down right sucks. i have been kicked out of my moms house, cant stay at my dads full time because he comlpains if i stay there too long. i cant stay at freinds houses because none of them can put me up till i graduate, even 8 weeks. my mom and i are still constantly fighting, my dad and i are better than normal and we are acctually getting along. my sister , tabitha, and i can tolerate each other. i dont get to see any of my step family, like my sisters kelli, angie and dana, of my borthers stephen or michael. michael is my step brother on my moms side who lives in nwe york right now working for some high end magaizine like vogue or something, and the other 4 are on my dads side, and stephen lives in kallamazoo, angie and kelli live in maryland, and dana is based in hawaii for now before she gets shipped out with the navy again. i am getting ready to go camping for spring break with my fiancee and it is sooo stressful because, i was ganna also go with my freinds aaron and renee but we ran into some trouble with that so we cant do that now. so me and him were still ganna go. then we asked owr friend chris to go for a few days, so now hes going for the first two and leaving then its ganna be me and my roy for the last two. i am paying for the camping place. roy is paying for some of the food, his mom has volentered to pitch in and help with the food and then chris is going to pitch in some so he can stay like two nights and the car pass for him to drive.
i am glad i get to spend a week with my boyfreind like all to my self and i am glad i get to see my freind too, but ill be happier when he leaves, no offense to him. and he knows we are excited about this and getting alone time.

excited and stressed/cant wait

regretment

Words shouted across rooms
Things shuttered in fear
Wished some words hadn’t been said
Rather be at peace with family
Not at war
Looking around everyone in agreeance
Wishing this hadn’t happened
You wanting me out
You know not to say
Because for you say I will leave
Without a second thought
So what do you do
Just what you know you’ll regret
More ugly words spoken
More things in regret
But it’s too late now
I’m out like you wanted
Trying to find someone who cares
To find somewhere to stay
So goodbye for good
You wanted me out
You got your wish whether
You really wanted it or not
You know you shouldn’t have said
You know you did wrong
I’m not coming back to you
Not now
Not ever

object poem

all white a plush
fuzzy and cute
with your nose all black
and your roses all red
gotten just a few short days
after valentines day
ment as a gift
just for something to do
but really means the
world to me
and fills the
void in my life when
you are gone
and out of my
dreadfully long day

confessions poem

mother dearest of mine,



i admit i haven't been the best
daughter in the world.
and i may have stayed out
passed curfew
or have snuck out
and wasn't caught
but you never said a word
just sat there in silence
always ignoring the fact that
i may have needed your help
for anything.


you sit there and yell at me
for stupid things that know one
really cares about,
you don't let me out of the house
because i have to take care
of my sister and clean the house
and even cook the meals
you don't let me have a life
when i am at your house.
but at least i clean up after my self
unlike my sister, who you do
nothing about and love sooo much.

i thought my dad was bad
since me and him did not
get alone,
we couldn't even sit
in the same room for more than
an hour together without fighting.
but at this point i like my father more.

i feel i can open up to him,
we have a bond, and tell
each other anything, know matter how
had or scary it may be at first
but right now he has my back
more than you do.
and he sticks his neck out
on the line to do things for me
and to make them right.
especially if he feels he did
something wrong
and your the one that told me
i could go to you for anything
no matter what it was
yup i see that now
anything right?
you have a great way
of showing that one

what do you do really do?
nothing, not really,
you sit there
and yell at me,
threaten to hit me,
kick me out and when i have
know where to go and no job.
yup i cannot honestly say i love you too....
what mother kicks there daughter out
and they not have somewhere to go
or care what happens to them?

i can tell you who dont
and that would be my mom
but at least i have a few that do
my dad, fiancee Roy
and friends Chris Katherine
Renee Emilee Brittany and Lexy.

so i guess this is goodbye mother dearest.....

list poem

if by chance you would leave or cheat on me, Roy, i would....
take your phone and break it in half
take your sim card and demolish it in the garbage disposal,
i would take your Toshiba laptop and smash it with an axe,
i would take every CD and break them all in half,
then i would go to your books
and rip out every page in them out,
i would take your dirt bike and cut the breaks and gas line,
take your pocket rocket and toss it in the river,
take all of your Tripp's and burn them in the fire pit out back,
take all of your favorite foods like steak and gum
and add them to the fire and make you watch,
and all your favorite drinks like monster and orange juice
would go down the drain,
i would leave you all of your jeans and preppy like clothes,
and make you wear bright colors instead
since i know you hate preppy like things,
i would nail all of your windows and doors shut
so you can not go out side anymore,

i would take your wii and xbox 360 which you love so dearly

and drown them in your pool which you will never be able to use again,
i would break the thermostat
so you cannot make it hotter or colder
and i will set it at a neutral temperature, about 70 degrees
since i know you hate not being at an extreme in temperatures,
i will organize the house and superglue everything in its place
so you cant then mess it up, and there be no clutter,
i will get you a at home teacher so you have to go to school everyday
and cant get away from them or the teachings, since you hate school,
i will never tell you i love you or hug and kiss you again
everyone knows how upset you get when i do not do those,
i will play rap all day in the house that you can never leave
so no more techno rock or metal,
and you will know longer be allowed to smoke
another cigarette or cigar a day in your life.....

are you sure you still want to try and leave or cheat on me?

my life in the last few days

My life has been pretty hectic for the last few days.I refuse to go home for long, unless its to sleep.I wake up, go to school, then after school i go to my fiancees house until late that evening and go home.Me and my family, mom and dad, don't get along for very long. We are always at each others throats and yelling and everything else. I get along with this really great guy. Who happens to be my fiancee. and I love him to death.Although, yesterday was way out there......My fiancees mom called him and since his grades were slipping really badly and only passed one class he was going to be grounded.He ended u p yelling at his mom, and getting all pissed off at his dad, because for once his dad stepped in on the parenting and him and his dad don't get along. So hes sitting there yelling at his mom about Finally stepping up to the plate and grounding him for his grades instead of waiting so long and about how much he hates his dad and everything like that. I'm trying to calm him down so hes not yelling anymore.He still hadn't calmed down, at this point he had gotten worse and thows the phone across the van Roy, my fiancee, Justin and I are in. The phone comes apart and his mom is still trying to call his cell phone.I got him to calm down after another five minutes and then take my phone and call his mom back, since he cant use his since he cant find it in pieces in the back of the van.Me and his mom get along really well and she knows that his temper hasn't been so bad since me and him have started dating and realizes that I had been watching it lately and not letting it get out of hand.But after he had calmed down he had realized what he had done and felt really bad. You see he had never wanted me to see that side of him and he kept apologizing to me. i kept trying to tell hims its not the first time i had seen him like that. Which also happened to make him feel even worse, and ask how many times i had seen this. I'd told him 3, and he had about lost it.But I love him and am willing to put up with this and work with him on it.....

real names/ after life

after years
i saw you today, just like i used to when we saw each other everyday. you havent seen me in over 10 years and you blow me off like im nothing, not even a piece of worthless trash laying on the ground. you didnt ackowledge me, or say hi. you just kept walking like i wasnt even there, almost like i was invisible. didnt really bother me tho since you tried to push me away for soo long.so yeah it was nice to see you again after a decade. not even acknowledging the fac tthat i was standing right in fron of you. you said i was such i big part in ur life, you said i was your everything but now you just stand there,, walking around aimlessly, and talking to everyone; accept me. done even nod in the fac that im here and you see me or even a glace. so thanks. although you seem like you have a great life now without me there. glad youwere such a big part in my life and i supossidly was in yours too.are you happier now that im out of your life? is it better with me not being a burden to you anymore? or that you have to worry about me?




real names 2
my name is....Kirstie
today my name is....work-a-holic
yesterday my name was....tired
tomorrow my name will be....dazed and confused
my name once was....no body
i was once known as....girl with many problems
my childhood name was....always doing something



real names
my real names is....Kirstie
today my name is....busy bee
yesterday my name was....procrastinator
tomorrow my name will be....exhausted
secretly i my name is....addict
my name once was....that other girl
my childhood name was....squirrel

image thing

farm--
reminds me of crop circles
aliens
animals
crops
trees
easier and simpler times
no cars
got around by boat and horseback
less worryes



railroad tracks--reminds me of wanting to leave.....to go somewhere else,less dramatic,somewhere were id be wanted,somewhere id like to be,were i get along with people,were people understand who i am and what I'm about,somewhere better, prettier, friendlier,somewhere less judgemental and less worrying.

first memory

my first memory is of me....we lived in algonac.it was me my mom dad and sister.and we had this giant pine tree ing the back yard,it was about two and a half stories tall,it was taller than our appartment.we lived in this green 2 story appartment on green street.and i always climbed this tree.i loved to climb.i got it from my dad.we were both like monkeys as kids.but one day i fell out of the tree...i hit every branch on the way down.and broke 2 ribs and my arm, and sprained my ancle and wrist.but of course i didint learn.i love to climb....so i got home and climbe it again....

i remember

I Remember
I remember waking up on hollidays
I remember when my mom and dad were still together
I remember when we all lived in Algonac
I remember when we moved to marine city
I remember living in a house for 3 months with nothing at all
I remember living with my freind and her mom out in southfield for two weeks and just meeting her the day i went to live with her
I remember when my freinds Jessica Clemente and Carl Kruckenburg were still alive
I remember my grandma when she was still around
I remember when the family all lived close together
I remember that my grandma was the one who held the family close andtogether
I remember when my sister was a baby
I remember when i was an only child
I remember when it was just me and my sister
I remember finding out about my half sister
I remember gaining 2 step brothers and 3 step sisters
I remember the engagement of my momI remember the engagement of my dad
I remember meeting my freind renee for the first time
I remember remeeting renee knockeart after she moved to marine city
I remember catching back uo eith renee
I remember meeting katherine stallwood for the first time
I remember when roy kowalski and i meet for the first time
I remember when roy asked me out for the first time
I remember my and his engagement
I remember when i just had one pet
I remember when i had my horse
I remember my grandma gave me the horse before she moved to flushing MI

nouns
acaridiasis-- infestation with itch mites
junketeer-- a person who goes on junkets, esp. regularly or habitually
scamillus-- a slight bevel at an arris of a stone, as in the necking of a Greek Doric column
sassenach-- an English inhabitant of the British Isles: used, often disparagingly, by the Gaelic inhabitants
hyperconformity-- action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc
adjectivesunchafed-- to wear or abrade by rubbingunpartaking-- to take or have a part or share along with others; participatesubabsolute-- free from imperfection; complete; perfectpostmaxillary-- of or pertaining to a jaw, jawbone, or maxilla.cytoarchitectural-- not at dictionary.com---cant findverbstransitiveenraptured-- to move to rapture; delight beyond measurecauterizing-- to burn with a hot iron, electric current, fire, or a caustic, esp. for curative purposes; treat with a cauteryintransitiveattenuate-- to weaken or reduce in force, intensity, effect, quantity, or valuesuppurate--to produce or discharge pus, as a wound; maturate.sough-- to make a rushing, rustling, or murmuring sound

comment i posted

i posted a comment on reness post--
i love it. its awsome... makes sence...sounds like you and all of our freinds

full moon me poem

I am the dark royal blue,
of a midnight setting sky
And the moon,
In lighting the way of others
In need of help
I am the black panther,
Loving at one moment
And ferious the next
And a support beam
Holding people together
At the worst of times
Instead of letting them fall apart
I am the absence of sound,
Coming and going
With out a noise heard
And running water,
Never being able
To stay in a spot for long
And a firebird
Loving to go fast
I am the darkness
And you are the light

A White Rose

The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.

But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.

~ John Boyle O'Reilly (1844-1890)






i love this poem for the fact that it reminds me of my fiancee.
he means the world to me and im increadibly happy to have him in my life.
i m glad he is always there for me when i need someone to be.

this reminds me of him because....
to me he is my red rose, like my falcon
i love white roses so id be like the white rose, and i love doves.